Rip Torn’s Drunk-Ass Karma

January 31, 2010 by C.D. Graves ·
Filed under: Celebrities 

Rip Torn mug shot

Karma score: 53/100

Like a baby born addicted to crack because his mamma is a crack ‘ho, Rip Torn’s karma will be reborn an alcoholic in his next life because Rip is one drunken ‘ho in this one. Last Friday Connecticut state police discovered Torn and his karma passed out on the floor of the Litchfield Bancorp building in Salisbury at 9:40 PM. Torn was not only drunk but also in possession of a loaded revolver for which he did not have a permit. Read more

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Kanye West Says PETA Ain’t Got No Karma

January 30, 2010 by Phil Maggitti ·
Filed under: Fashion 

image of kanye west in a lynx fur coat

Karma score: 38

Kanye West came in for well-deserved criticism after turning up during Men’s Fashion Week in Paris wearing enough fur to keep fifteen homeless people warm—thirty if you count the fur that draped the human robot of a girlfriend that Kanye took to Paris with him. PETA, predictably, got all up in Kanye’s fur-lined grill about the lynx coats. Read more

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J.D. Salinger’s Karma Through the Roofbeam

January 29, 2010 by Phil Maggitti ·
Filed under: Literature 

image of J.D. Salinger

Karma score: 110/100

J.D. Salinger, one of America’s most famous recluses (how’s that for an oxymoron) has died at the age of ninety-one. Mr. Salinger presumably spent most of his adult life—or at least the last forty-five years—holed up in his house in Cornish, New Hampshire, shuffling around in tatty slippers, an ill-fitting bath robe, and a killer case of bed head. Read more

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Is Staring at Breasts Bad for Your Karma?

January 28, 2010 by Logan Catchpole ·
Filed under: Celebrities 

image of actors stanley tucci and anne hathaway

Karma score: pending

What guy hasn’t been caught in this Stanley Tucci vice? There you are deep in a momentary Nirvana, and guess what happens next? You wake up and make eye contact with your wife or significant other, who does not look amused. You are so busted. Your plans for later tonight are about to take one in the shorts. Read more

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  • Today in Karma History

    03/17/461
    Saint Patrick, Christian missionary, bishop, and apostle of Ireland, died at Saul, Downpatrick, Ireland. Born in Great Britain, most likely in Scotland, Patrick was part of a well-to-do Christian family of Roman citizenship. At the age of sixteen he was captured and enslaved by Irish marauders.

    Patrick worked as a herder in Ireland for the next six years. During that time he depended on a deepening religious faith for comfort. Following the counsel of a voice he heard in a dream one night, Patrick escaped and found passage on a ship to Britain, where he was eventually reunited with his family.

    Some time later Patrick had another dream. This time an individual named Victoricus gave him a letter, entitled "The Voice of the Irish." As he read the letter, Patrick heard the voices of Irishmen pleading him to return to their country and to walk among them once more.

    After studying for the priesthood, Patrick was ordained a bishop. He returned to Ireland in 433 and began preaching the gospel, converting thousands people, and building churches around the country. After forty years of living in poverty, teaching, traveling, and working tirelessly, Patrick died on March 17, 461, in Saul, where he had built his first church.

    Much of what is known about Patrick's legendary life comes from the Confessio, a book he wrote during his last years.

  • Shortcuts to Killer Karma

    Shortcuts to Killer Karma turns the accepted notion of karma on its head and shakes the money out of its pockets just for laughs. In this section we will show you how to appear worthy even when you're being a total [penis]. Sound cool? Click here.