Big Dumb Ben Roethlisberger Fumbles His Karma

March 15, 2010 by Phil Maggitti ·
Filed under: Crime 

ben roethlisberger and a few ladies in a bar

Karma score: 48/100

Ben Roethlisberger has never looked like the brightest bulb in the marquee. The Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback, 28, might have won two Super Bowls, but a motorcycle accident and two sexual assault complaints during the last four years suggest that he’s a few watts short of incandescent; and if that doesn’t convince you, did we mention that he wasn’t wearing a helmet in any of those incidents? Read more

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Shocking Robbery at Karma Kafé

March 13, 2010 by C.D. Graves ·
Filed under: Crime 

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Karma score: 10/100

Somebody robbed Karma KafĂ© in Hoboken, New Jersey, of $200 this week. Somebody with a karmic death wish, I presume. It is one thing to rob a convenience store, a gas station, or a parking lot attendant. It is a whole other kettle of vipers to rob anyone or anything named Karma. Better to tug on Superman’s cape—or to do whatever it is we’re not supposed to do into the wind. Superman’s got nothing on karma! Read more

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Is God Losing His Karma?

March 12, 2010 by Phil Maggitti ·
Filed under: Law 

god

Karma score: 85/100

Eight years ago the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco set a match to a tinderbox by declaring that the words “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance are an unconstitutional endorsement of religion. What’s more, said the court, those two words send “a message to nonbelievers that they are outsiders,” in violation of the constitutional separation of church and state. Read more

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Sean Penn’s Karma Stuck in Hershey Highway

March 11, 2010 by Phil Maggitti ·
Filed under: Celebrities 

image of rush limbaugh inside a colon

Karma score: 66/100

Last Sunday actor/activist Sean Penn appeared on CBS Sunday Morning, where he discussed his recent efforts on behalf of the people of Haiti. When host Lara Logan asked Sean how he felt about those who are critical of his relief efforts, he replied, “Do I hope that [they] die screaming of rectal cancer? Yeah, you know, but I’m not going to spend a lot of energy on it.” Read more

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  • Today in Karma History

    03/17/461
    Saint Patrick, Christian missionary, bishop, and apostle of Ireland, died at Saul, Downpatrick, Ireland. Born in Great Britain, most likely in Scotland, Patrick was part of a well-to-do Christian family of Roman citizenship. At the age of sixteen he was captured and enslaved by Irish marauders.

    Patrick worked as a herder in Ireland for the next six years. During that time he depended on a deepening religious faith for comfort. Following the counsel of a voice he heard in a dream one night, Patrick escaped and found passage on a ship to Britain, where he was eventually reunited with his family.

    Some time later Patrick had another dream. This time an individual named Victoricus gave him a letter, entitled "The Voice of the Irish." As he read the letter, Patrick heard the voices of Irishmen pleading him to return to their country and to walk among them once more.

    After studying for the priesthood, Patrick was ordained a bishop. He returned to Ireland in 433 and began preaching the gospel, converting thousands people, and building churches around the country. After forty years of living in poverty, teaching, traveling, and working tirelessly, Patrick died on March 17, 461, in Saul, where he had built his first church.

    Much of what is known about Patrick's legendary life comes from the Confessio, a book he wrote during his last years.

  • Shortcuts to Killer Karma

    Shortcuts to Killer Karma turns the accepted notion of karma on its head and shakes the money out of its pockets just for laughs. In this section we will show you how to appear worthy even when you're being a total [penis]. Sound cool? Click here.