Mo’Nique Eats Her Karma at the Oscars
Karma score: 42/100
Perhaps Mo’Nique was still in abusive-mother mode—or maybe she had the mother of all wedgies—but whatever the cause she stomped all over the rule about not being a poor winner.
“First I would like to thank the academy for showing that it can be about the performance and not the politics,” Mo’Nique began.
Beg pardon, Sasquatch. Did you mean that if any of your competitors for best supporting actress had won, hers would have been a triumph of politics over performance? I don’t know what those ladies (Penelope Cruz, Vera Farmiga, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Anna Kendrick) were thinking when they heard that verbal bitch slap, but I know what I was thinking: “What a classless thing to say, you [porcine individual].”
Don’t pat yourself on the back, big girl, not that you could, literally. You are not the light at the end of the Oscar tunnel. You are the large object that blots out the sun. Besides, if any of the academy awards might be suspected of being political—or politically correct, perhaps—there are people would bet that it was yours.
So do the right thing. Man up and apologize to your rivals, or you’ll have to roll your karma in flour in order to find it.
Today in Karma History
03/17/461
Saint Patrick, Christian missionary, bishop, and apostle of Ireland, died at Saul, Downpatrick, Ireland. Born in Great Britain, most likely in Scotland, Patrick was part of a well-to-do Christian family of Roman citizenship. At the age of sixteen he was captured and enslaved by Irish marauders.
Patrick worked as a herder in Ireland for the next six years. During that time he depended on a deepening religious faith for comfort. Following the counsel of a voice he heard in a dream one night, Patrick escaped and found passage on a ship to Britain, where he was eventually reunited with his family.
Some time later Patrick had another dream. This time an individual named Victoricus gave him a letter, entitled "The Voice of the Irish." As he read the letter, Patrick heard the voices of Irishmen pleading him to return to their country and to walk among them once more.
After studying for the priesthood, Patrick was ordained a bishop. He returned to Ireland in 433 and began preaching the gospel, converting thousands people, and building churches around the country. After forty years of living in poverty, teaching, traveling, and working tirelessly, Patrick died on March 17, 461, in Saul, where he had built his first church.
Much of what is known about Patrick's legendary life comes from the Confessio, a book he wrote during his last years.