Barack Obama Has Karmic Black Thumb

January 27, 2010 by Phil Maggitti ·
Filed under: Politics 

image of president obama

Karma score: 57/100

President Barack Obama, the Fresh Prince of D.C., has a raging case of karmic black thumb syndrome: everything he touches turns to potash. The president’s most recent victim was the University of Kentucky’s basketball team. The Wildcats, who were ranked #1 at the time, received a call from the president yesterday. Read more

John Edwards’ Karma Takes Another Hit

January 21, 2010 by Phil Maggitti ·
Filed under: Politics 

John Edwards image

Karma score: 32/100

Former presidential candidate John Edwards’ karma is beginning to resemble Michael Jackson’s botched nose job. After denying for months that he had sired a daughter by his former mistress Rielle Hunter—whom he had denied ever having an affair with—Mr. Edwards admitted what everyone knew already: Ms. Hunter’s little bastard is his too. Read more

  • Today in Karma History

    03/17/461
    Saint Patrick, Christian missionary, bishop, and apostle of Ireland, died at Saul, Downpatrick, Ireland. Born in Great Britain, most likely in Scotland, Patrick was part of a well-to-do Christian family of Roman citizenship. At the age of sixteen he was captured and enslaved by Irish marauders.

    Patrick worked as a herder in Ireland for the next six years. During that time he depended on a deepening religious faith for comfort. Following the counsel of a voice he heard in a dream one night, Patrick escaped and found passage on a ship to Britain, where he was eventually reunited with his family.

    Some time later Patrick had another dream. This time an individual named Victoricus gave him a letter, entitled "The Voice of the Irish." As he read the letter, Patrick heard the voices of Irishmen pleading him to return to their country and to walk among them once more.

    After studying for the priesthood, Patrick was ordained a bishop. He returned to Ireland in 433 and began preaching the gospel, converting thousands people, and building churches around the country. After forty years of living in poverty, teaching, traveling, and working tirelessly, Patrick died on March 17, 461, in Saul, where he had built his first church.

    Much of what is known about Patrick's legendary life comes from the Confessio, a book he wrote during his last years.
  • Shortcuts to Killer Karma

    Shortcuts to Killer Karma turns the accepted notion of karma on its head and shakes the money out of its pockets just for laughs. In this section we will show you how to appear worthy even when you're being a total [penis]. Sound cool? Click here.